Tuesday, June 18, 2019

The Church Bulletin Board

These Church Bulletins were actually posted or announced in church services:

The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on Water‘. The sermon tonight: ‘Searching for Jesus.'“

“Don’t let worry kill you off. Let the church help.”

“At the evening service tonight the sermon topic will be ‘What is Hell?’ Come early and listen to our choir practice.”

“Place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.”

“The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.”

“Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 am. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the BS is done.”

The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the church basement Friday at 7 pm. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.”

Weight Watchers will meet at 7pm at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.”

The minister unveiled the church’s new campaign slogan last Sunday .
It reads… ‘I Upped My Pledge …Now Up Yours’. ”


Blogger Marie Smith said...

Lol. Good chuckles there!

1:00 PM  
Blogger Anvilcloud said...

I posted a similar but not identical list on FB last week. It drew many laughs and re-posts.

3:53 AM  
Blogger Arkansas Patti said...

Ah the poor harried church secretaries. Just too funny. Even God needs a chuckle.

5:10 AM  
Blogger NCmountainwoman said...

I love those! Thanks for a chuckle.

6:22 AM  
Blogger Beatrice P. Boyd said...

While I have seen some similar ones before, Ginnie, these always bring a laugh and are worth repeating.

4:33 AM  

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