Hilarious WORD DEFINITIONS …

Here are some of the winners of this year’s Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational. The readers were asked to pick a word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting or changing ONE letter and then supplying a new definition:

Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.


The Washington Post also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. Here are some of them:

Coffee, n. …The person upon whom one coughs.

Flabbergasted, adj. … Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained..

Abdicate, v. … To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

Esplanade, v. … To attempt an explanation while drunk..

Willy-nilly, adj. … Impotent.

Pokemon, n. … A Rastafarian proctologist